Dealing With Church Hurt

 

Dealing With Church Hurt

 

Sunday Morning

Pastor Jim Lowe III

Sunday Morning,  9:30am Stream

10/10/21 (2nd Sunday Message)

 

 

 

{All scriptures are NIV84 unless stated}

 

Today we talk about something many churches don’t talk about.

 

We address something many churches don’t want to admit exists.

 

We are talking about a pain that many believers today go through.

 

Something we’ve been forced to suppress.

 

We’re talking about the pain that comes with being a believer.

 

More specifically in ours and other “churches.”

 

Today we talk about Church Hurt.

 

Church Hurt Is Real!

 

Good Definition:

 

 

Church Hurt:

the harm caused by the church or its members to anyone inside or outside the church.  This harm can be intentional or unintentional.

 

The harm caused by the church or its members.

 

Meaning:

 

The church as a whole.

 

Or the people who attend that church.

 

So who can be responsible for church hurt?

 

Anyone in leadership.

 

  The Pastor

 

  The Elders

 

  The Leadership

 

  The Staff

 

  The Volunteers

 

  Even those who “only” attend.

 

Does that cover everyone?

 

Who Can Be Responsible For Church Hurt? Any Of Us!

 

Not only can we be dealing with our own church hurt.

 

We can be responsible for hurting someone else.

 

Today we talk about this.

 

We must talk about how serious this is.

 

This has caused a lot of people to fall out with the church.

 

They might leave their church and go to another.

 

They might leave church all together.

 

They might even leave the faith.

 

Why?

 

Because Church Hurt is real.

 

What Are Some Examples Of Church Hurt?

 

When we label someone’s struggles as pure disobedience and suggest they aren’t praying hard enough to stop.

 

When the church turns their back on a single mom because she got a divorce from her abusive husband.

 

When the church shames the young woman because she got pregnant.

 

When a Pastor becomes exposed from some secret sin no one knew about.

 

These are all examples of church hurt.

 

This can cause people MANY forms of hurt.

 

If we’re dealing with it…

 

If we’re responsible for it to someone else.

 

Today we can learn from it.

 

Why Church Hurt Can’t Be Ignored:

 

We CAN NOT ignore it because it deals with people.

 

WE are important.

 

YOU are important.

 

And for us to grow together…we have to understand what church hurt does.

 

And how dangerous it can be.

 

John 10:10

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

 

We’ve heard this scripture.

 

We know this scripture.

 

But the answer is here.

 

The Thief Comes:

To Steal, To Kill, To Destroy:

 

Many people offer interpretations of what this means.

 

As long as those interpretations line up with scripture…they can be applied.

 

Based on what we know.

 

We can apply this:

 

The thief comes to steal our inheritance.

 

The thief comes to kill us and our futures.

 

and today:

 

The Thief Comes To Destroy The Body of Christ

 

There are many things the enemy comes to do.

 

One of them is to disrupt anything God wants to do.

 

He will attack our bodies.

 

He will attack our minds.

 

He will do everything he can…to go after what God has established.

 

One of the best ways to do that…

 

Is to have us hurting and being hurt by one another.

 

For example:

 

If You Ask People Dealing With Church Hurt

 

One of the things people may say:

 

“The Church Is Filled With Hypocrites!”

 

This is ABSOLUTELY true!

 

We preach against sin, but are full of it.

 

We want to shame someone for their sin…and we may doing the exact same thing.

 

We have to work on our message to the people with us.

 

We are all all SUPPOSED to be walking together.

 

Well Never Be Sinless, But Our Goal Should Be To Sin Less.”

 

There was one man who was perfect.

 

Our Goal As Believers Is To Strive To Be Better Each Day!

 

Not perfect.

 

The church can many times mistake that.

 

We can act so “holier than thou.”

 

We preach or talk about sin so matter of factly…

 

Not realizing that WE are trying to deal with our own things.

 

We can shame someone so easy either to their face or behind their back.

 

Only because our sin hasnt been seen yet.

 

This is how the enemy has tricked us.

 

The Church Is Supposed To Be A Place Of Growth, Safety and Covering!

 

But many times there is no covering.

 

The church isn’t doing what its supposed to.

 

We are not on pedestals!

 

The Church Is Supposed To Cover - Not Call Out!

 

Who Are We To Call Out Anyone?

 

John 8:1-6

But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say? 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

 

Jesus was at the temple courts.

 

A woman was brought to him caught in adultery.

 

The crowd wasnt just filled with random people.

 

Who brought her?

 

The Teachers of the Law

 

 The Pharisees (strict followers of the letter of the law)

 

These people would be considered parts of the church at the time.

 

These people knew the law!

 

Yet they were ready to kill someone because they were caught.

 

Verse 6-11

6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her. 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 No one, sir, she said. Then neither do I condemn you, Jesus declared. Go now and leave your life of sin. 

 

The church was ready to kill this woman.

 

Jesus says let the first person who hasn’t done anything throw the first one.

 

No one could do anything because they realized they were no better than this woman.

 

People Will Stay Ready To Throw Stones Until THEIR Sin Is Exposed!

 

This is one way we hurt so many others.

 

We throw the rule book at them.

 

We make them feel like they are terrible people because of their sin.

 

But Christ is dealing with ALL of us and ALL of our sin.

 

This is what the church is supposed to be.

 

We All Are Flawed People Trying To Do Better

 

None of us are without sin.

 

NONE of us are without sin!

 

Ephesians 2:8-9

8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

 

We have been saved by grace.

 

We are saved because God said we are.

 

The other believer we don’t cover is saved by the same grace that we are!

 

We Can’t Stop Loving Because People Sin Different Than Us!

 

We are all working to be better Christians.

 

We have to work to make sure we work hard to not be the cause of Church Hurt for others.

 

Church Hurt is serious.

 

It is a big issue with why the Body of Christ isn’t unified.

 

We keep hurting one another.

 

This is our responsibility to one another.

 

We are to Cover, Not Condemn!

 

For Those Of Us Dealing With Church Hurt:

 

It’s possible that many of us are still dealing with church hurt.

 

Many of us HAVE been hurt by someone else.

 

There are many things we may be dealing with.

 

Ways You Can Tell You May Be Dealing With Church Hurt:

 

1.If You Don’t Feel Comfortable Going To A Church

-can we blame it on COVID if we go any and everywhere else?

2.If You Are Unwilling To Trust Pastors/Teachers

-maybe you’ve been taught false teachings

3.If You Only Come To Church Out Of Obligation

-if you feel uncomfortable serving or helping your church…why?

4.If You Have Been Called Out In A Sin

-has the “church” attempted to stone you for something you’ve done?

 

If you are dealing with church hurt:

 

We apologize.

 

This is not the way God has designed it.

 

When we try to recover from our church hurt,

 

We have to remind ourselves that people WILL continue to fail us.

 

People are flawed.

 

God’s original plan was in the beginning.

 

Adam and Eve WALKED with God in the garden.

 

There was no better relationship that existed.

 

Yet in Genesis 3, they sinned against God.

 

The first humans.

 

The perfect relationship.

 

They failed God.

 

They failed each other.

 

Other people falling us is what causes us to hurt.

 

BUT!!

 

We believe in a God who can heal and restore.

 

God Can Heal Every Type Of Hurt - Even Our Church Hurt!

 

song lyric:

 

“There Is No Pain Jesus Can’t Heal”

 

“If You Can Have It, God Can Heal It”

 

Psalm 147:3

3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. 

 

If our hearts have been hurt from someone else.

 

We serve a God who can make it all better.

 

He doesn’t just heal our hearts…he fixes what was done to us.

 

He binds what hurt us.

 

You Serve A God Who Can Love All Hurt Away!

 

Isaiah 57:15

15 For this is what the high and lofty One says— he who lives forever, whose name is holy: I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.

 

Same scripture in the message version.

 

Isaiah 57:15 (MSG)

A Message from the high and towering God, who lives in Eternity, whose name is Holy: I live in the high and holy places, but also with the low-spirited, the spirit-crushed, And what I do is put new spirit in them, get them up and on their feet again.

 

God says he lives in the high places.

 

But he also lives in the low places.

 

You may have been hurt by others.

 

You might feel down about what the CHURCH has done to you.

 

But the bible says if your spirit has been crushed,

 

That’s okay - God has a new spirit for you.

 

He will put that new spirit in you so you can start again.

 

God sees it as necessary!

 

Why Does God Want To Heal Us From Our Church Hurt?

 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 

 

We are all supposed to be walking together.

 

God wants to comfort us so we can then help to comfort others.

 

No One Is Better Than Anyone - We Are Only Saved By Grace!

 

God doesn’t just make some of us better.

 

God makes all of us better!

 

We are all the same.

 

Looking at people based on sin is what destroys the body!

 

We Only Hurt Ourselves When We Don’t Cover One Another!

 

This is how the body is attacked.

 

This is how the body is destroyed.

 

How Do We Deal With Church Hurt?

 

Each one of these steps may be some of the hardest things to do.

 

It depends on how deep the hurt goes.

 

4 Steps, but talking about 2 today.

 

Dealing With Church Hurt:

1.We Have To Admit It To Ourselves

-this can be any of us and all of us.

-there is no condemning for feeling this way.

  -It is what it is.

-we have to be honest to admit if we feel some type of way about God’s church.

-are we allowing an individual or group of people to affect our relationship with     God?

  -How about his church?

-Do we harbor resentment towards someone in the church because of something   they said, a sin they committed, or a trust that was broken?

 

Dealing With Church Hurt:

2.We Have To Pray For Strength To Give It To God

-It’s not always easy to let go of things.

-Sometimes releasing things means opening wounds.

-The thought of dealing with trauma is never pleasant.

-But God told us if we give it to anyone…give it to him.

 

Psalm 30:2

2 O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. 

 

When you call on God, know he can heal you.

 

Psalm 103:1-5

1 Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! 2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: 3 Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, 4 Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, 5 Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagles.

 

No matter how deep it goes.

 

God can fix it.

 

{Conclusion}

 

Church hurt is real.

 

Too many of God’s people are carrying bruises from long ago.

 

God desires his church to be on one accord.

 

Remember we have to walk together.

 

We are all the same.

If we are dealing with Church Hurt,

 

We serve a God who can love ALL the pain away.

 

How do we recover?

 

Dealing With Church Hurt:

1.We Have To Admit It To Ourselves

Dealing With Church Hurt:

2.We Have To Pray For Strength To Give It To God

 

This week:

 

Things To Remember This Week:

1.Remember God’s View That We Are All The Same

2.If We Are Dealing With Church Hurt, God Can Heal It

 

*If you are needing someone to talk to,

we are here for you.

 

Guiding Light Church Pastoral Care

(205) 838-1386

 

 

Next week, we’ll discuss 2 more ways to deal with church hurt.

 

 

 

 

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