“Hold Your Words!” (Heart Vs Habit part 8)”

(Final Version)

Pastor Jim Lowe III

Sunday Morning, 9:30am Stream 04/14/24 (3rd Sunday Message) (Final Version)

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{All scriptures are “NIV84” unless stated}

Message Title:

“Hold Your Words!” (Heart Vs Habit part 8)”

Proverbs 18:21

21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

We gave 2 definitions last time.

Complain (v)

• express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something.

Vent (V)

• giving free expression to a strong emotion {anger/annoyance}

Complaints Are Things We Do Typically When Something Bothers Us.

This is NOT constructive criticism.

This is letting it all fall out.

We had an interesting discussion go on in small groups. This is NOT talking about Constructive Criticism.

Constructive Criticism Is Feedback That Offers Specific And Actionable Advice To Help Others To Improve.

But THIS isn’t complaining/venting/grumbling.

THIS message is when we aren’t trying to offer constructive criticism. just criticism…

These are the things we say to one another… NOT trying to make things better.

We want to just talk…

and be heard!

We aren’t wanting to talk to the person who bothered us. We aren’t looking for solutions to the things that troubled us.

we just want to go on a rant about it.

What Are Things We Complain About?

We complain about all of these things as if we weren’t supposed to have any troubles.

Our Mouths Can Get Us Into A Lot Of Trouble!

The bible tells us that our words mean something!

Matthew 12:36-37

36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

We talked about ways that complaining/grumbling/venting/ranting negatively affect us.

Ways Complaining Negatively Affects Us:

• It Doesn’t Actually Help Us Feel Better!

{neoassociation theory}

“The More We Talk About, Think About, And LOOK At The Things That Make Us Angry, The Angrier We Get.”

Ways Complaining Negatively Affects Us:

• It Shows An Ungratefulness For What God Has Done For Us!

Israel complained.

from slavery to the promised land.

and showed God how ungrateful they were the whole way!

They payed for their freedom…yet complained when the got it. New one for today:

Ways Complaining Negatively Affects Us:

• It Can Cause Others To Think Negative Of The Other Person

What is the purpose usually when people vent? They want to air out their frustrations.

But they also want you to HEAR how they feel! People don’t usually vent to themselves.

they do it to others…

so the others can listen to their “pain.” They don’t want you to calm them down…

They need to let it out!

Unless you’re gonna agree with them!

Over Time What Do Our Negative Words About Someone Do To The People We Vent To?

Person 1 complains everyday about the same co-worker.

on phone calls with friends.

on home convo with family.

it’s about this one co-worker.

Then when the friends/family see the person at a restaurant…

Now ALL of them are looking at the co-worker giving the stank face!

This is because we don’t like to see our friends/family mistreated!

Have You Ever Changed Your Opinion About Someone Based On The Word Of Someone Else?

Now we might be calling someone “no good” we never even met! Why?? Because we know all about them from someone else.

someone who was mistreated. they told us all about them!

But!!

What if it was all a misunderstanding!

We have NOW judged someone…

based on a word spoken in anger from SOMEONE else!

Why Can Venting/Grumbling/Complaining Be Bad? If You Aren’t Careful, It Can Create Division!

This is what the bible considers sin.

Galatians 5:19-21

19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

“dissensions”

Listed with sexual immorality! witchcraft!

hatred!

fits of rage!

That word is grouped together with all those other things! Why??

Because it causes people to judge others!

{found this on the internet:}

2 Scenarios:

S1. Someone Offends Me:

S1. Tell People About It ->

S1. The Listeners Begin To Think Less Of My Offender

->

S1. They JOIN Me In Speaking Negatively About My Offender ->

**I Have Unknowingly Succeeded In Causing Others To Sin; Created Division In Relationships; Made Myself More Upset By Talking About It; Directly Knowingly, Willfully Disobeying God’s Word By Reacting According To My Flesh Rather Than The Spirit**

Here’s scenario 2:

S2. Someone Offends Me:

S2. Go Directly To God In Prayer About It

S2. He Hears Me And Gives Me A Better Perspective-> S2. I Feel Peace And Do NOT Feel The Need To Vent To Others About It ->

**I Have Honored The Lord By Valuing Unity Over The Temporary Pleasure Of Venting/Grumbling/ Complaining To Gain Sympathy From Others**

Which Of These Scenarios Is Better?

2 Timothy 2:16-17a (NCV)

16 Stay away from foolish, useless talk, because that will lead people further away from God. 17 Their evil teaching will spread like a sickness inside the body.

Why does this lead people from God?

Because if our words causes someone to love that person less… we are NOT being like God.

1 John 4:8

8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Ways Complaining Negatively Affects Us:

3. It Can Cause Others To Think Negative Of The Other Person

Ways Complaining Negatively Affects Us:

• God Simply Can’t Stand It!

  • Corinthians 10:1

For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers, that our forefathers were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea.

This is about when the Lord took Israel from Egypt to the Promised Land.

Verse 5-6

5 Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered over the desert. 6 Now these things occurred as examples to keep us  from setting our hearts on evil things as they did.

They did all these great things and God delivered them… but he was not pleased with MOST of them.

Their bodies were scattered all over the desert.

God made them an example…

so WE do not do the same things.

What are they??

Verse 9-11

9 We should not test the Lord, as some of them did—and were killed by snakes. 10 And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying  angel. 11 These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come.

Is God out here killing people because they grumble and complain? he DEFINITELY did before!

God Doesn’t Like Complainers!

“Well maybe if they weren’t being so terrible and stupid…we would’t have a problem!”

James 4:12

12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

The bible says who are we to talk about anyone? More specifically:

James 5:9

9 Don’t grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!

We said last week That God is paying attention!

We will have to give an account for every careless word we’ve spoken. that INCLUDES other people.

How Do We Close The Vent?

{How Do We Close The Vent?}

• Stop Talking About It

Proverbs 29:11

11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

{How Do We Close The Vent?}

• Take Your Cares To The One Who Cares

1 Peter 5:7

7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

{How Do We Close The Vent?}

• Keep Your Mind Off The Things That Trouble You

Philippians 4:8

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

{How Do We Close The Vent?}

• Remember We Are Always Responsible For Us

Unfortunately John 16:33 tells that trouble will come.

It’s not about the trouble that comes…it’s what we do when it does.

God Is Watching Our Response To Our Troubles! Do We Take It To Him? Or Do We Complain About It To Others?

There is a choice WE must make.

We can’t change the trouble…

we can change how we respond.

Colossians 3:17

17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Whatever you do.

in WORD…or deed.

the things we SAY are important!

Proverbs 18:21

21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

You can control what goes in…

you CAN control what comes out!

{How Do We Close The Vent?}

• Do Your Best To Do Things That Bring You Peace

Make the decision to do what brings you peace.

Ephesians 4:2-3

• • Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

It’s not easy…

but make every effort to keep the peace.

The Lord Wants Us To Have Peace In All Things!

John 16:33

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace…

We can find peace in Jesus… HE told us!

Before the problem…he is peace. During the problem…he can be peace. After the problem…he can be peace.

Life Gets Hard! Do Your Best To Hold Your Peace!

Colossians 3:15

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

we were called to peace.

{In Conclusion}

Philippians 2:14-15

14 Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe…

Close the vents!

Proverbs 29:11

11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control